My Husband Is Taking Viagra Without Telling Me: How Will It Affect Our Relationship?

“My husband is taking Viagra without telling me, and it hurts.” This is a common statement marriage counselors hear from women whose husbands take the medication secretly.

Viagra is widely prescribed to help men with erectile dysfunction (ED) regain their sexual confidence (1). However, despite the benefits this medication provides, it doesn’t protect married couples from facing issues related to its use.

The worst problems arise when the husband decides to take it without consulting his wife. If you’re among those who’ve been left in the dark, this post might help answer some of the biggest questions in your mind.

If My Husband Is Taking Viagra Without Telling Me, What Does It Mean?

When your husband decides to take Viagra in secret, it can mean different things for both parties. The reasons, which might be taken positively or negatively, can be any of the following:

#1 He’s embarrassed about his condition.

Men usually feel embarrassed about being impotent. When they feel aroused but can’t achieve and maintain a hard erection, it makes them feel less of a man. It makes them lose their sexual confidence (2).

With the help of Viagra, they can achieve a full erection during arousal. But because they would want to make it look natural, they tend to keep it a secret from their partners to maintain their manly image.

#2 He fears you might think that you’re the problem.

Women tend to think that their partners’ libido depends on their level of attractiveness. That isn’t necessarily true.

Viagra is a medication that will only work if your husband is already aroused by you—the fact that both parties should be aware of. However, not everyone can accept this concept so easily.

If he knows that you might think you’re not attractive enough to arouse him, he might choose to keep it a secret instead.

#3 He’s still hesitating about the use of Viagra.

In some cases, men are the ones who are resistant to taking ED medications. This is especially true if they are also suffering from other long-term conditions such as diabetes and heart disease.

If your husband is not telling you about the prescription, it might be because he’s still hesitating about its safety for long-term use. After all, taking Viagra, along with other medications, can have different effects on his body.

In other cases, some hesitate because they don’t like the fact that they need to take Viagra every time they want to have sex with their partners. They fear the loss of spontaneity, that’s why they hesitate to disclose it.

Why Would My Husband Need Viagra?

The main reason your husband would ever need Viagra is when he is diagnosed with ED. If you noticed that he’s been experiencing erectile difficulties during sex, then you should understand why he would need it.

Sildenafil, the main ingredient in Viagra, works by relaxing the penile muscles to increase blood flow into the corpus cavernosum. The blood collected in the cavernosal smooth muscles is what makes the penis erect and hard enough for penetration (3).

An important fact you should understand is that it only works with sexual stimulation. Without stimulation, an erection can’t be achieved despite taking Viagra.

How Can Taking Viagra Affect Our Relationship?

Taking Viagra can have both positive and negative impacts on a relationship. On the upside, you may experience the following:

#1 Your husband feels more confident in the bedroom.

When Viagra works for both of you, your husband will regain his sexual confidence and feel empowered to initiate sex again. This positive effect can help increase your sexual satisfaction and quality of intimacy (4, 5).

#2 You no longer have to feel bad about sex.

Because your husband is now able to perform sex like usual, you won’t have to feel bad about seeing him struggle as he did before. You can also dismiss the idea that you’re not attractive enough for him.

#3 You can rekindle your passion.

For most married couples above 50 years, sex becomes infrequent and inessential to the relationship. The top reason for this is because sexual performance deteriorates with age. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

If both of you still feel sexually attracted to each other, there’s no reason for you to stop having sex because of ED related to aging. With the help of Viagra, you can maintain sexual intimacy even in your senior years.

On the downside, particularly when men take Viagra without telling their partners, this can lead to:

#1 Development of fear and mistrust.

When women discover that their partners are taking Viagra behind their backs, it can stir negative feelings like fear and mistrust.

  • They might fear that their husbands no longer love them.
  • They might suspect that their husbands use Viagra with other women too.
  • They might think that they’re not important, that’s why their husbands leave them out.
  • They might suspect that, aside from taking Viagra, their husbands are hiding other important medical information from them.

#2 Ineffectual medication and sexual dissatisfaction.

As mentioned before, Viagra only works with sexual stimulation. If the husband fails to inform his wife about the medication, she might be resistant or even refuse to partake in sexual activities because of their partners’ erectile difficulties.

If men involve their partners in the decision to take Viagra, they might be more willing to try it out. It takes both partners to make the most out of the little blue pill’s sexual benefits.

What Should I Do If I Discover That My Husband Is Taking Viagra Secretly?

This is probably the most challenging question of all. The answer depends on how much you know about your husband.

First of all, you should try to determine the possible reason for the secrecy. Is your husband the type who feels ashamed about not being manly? If so, then maybe it’s best to pretend that you didn’t know and go with the flow.

You should also determine how long he has been taking Viagra. If he hasn’t been taking it for long, maybe he’s still waiting for the right time to tell you.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to wait it out. It may hurt when your husband hides something from you, but he may also have his reason.

If he still doesn’t tell you after waiting a long time, it won’t hurt if you ask him about it. After all, in marriage, everything eventually comes out in the open.

If you now know the answer to the question, “My husband is taking Viagra without telling me, how will it affect our relationship?” then you probably understand that the goal of taking the drug is to improve your relationship, not damage it.

If you’re worried about something else though, let us know through the comments section, and we’ll do our best to help.

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